Violence Against Women - Do They Like Encourage It

There are numerous situations that result in violence against women. There is the type of violence that's what I would call "spontaneous", is an attack on any woman in the street.

That sort of violence is not what I will be dealing with, but the kind that manifests itself with results of hospital visits or the law officer's intervention.

Allow me to state upfront that I am against ALL kinds of violence, may it be political, daughter or son, IPV, verbal, economic or otherwise.

IPV [Intimate Partner Violence] is predominant in all stratum of society. One's income streams does not exclude the gravity of the problem.

Some years ago my next door neighbour's son was married in a beautiful Hindu wedding ceremony. She was a stay-at-home wife typical of the tradition that obtained at the time.

Soon one could hear the sounds of beatings as if the wonder-bride was relegated to being a "tassa drum. " This continued for some months until the wonder-bride jumped through the bedroom window during a beating, landed on the kitchen roof, and made good her escape. I've not laid my eyes on her since.

The causal factor in the relationship I later learnt was the gentleman's mother. His working in the grocery all day long and the daughter-in-law not bowing to her mother-in-law's every whim and fancy had her "carrying news" on the wonder-bride. These tidbits the mother informed her son of which he believed, hence the severe beatings.

A female calypsonian once used these lyrics in her ditty. "Dog does hightail it, cat does run away, so woman put some wheels on your heels". I endorse that point 100%. A woman is God designed and God created to be considered a HELPER for man. Not really a servant but an equal partner to assist him and he her inside their journey over the lifespan.

I grew up in an era where male dominance was still being promoted. But my father said to us his offspring that our mother was the Queen of the house. At that time I did not sense it however it grew on me when I had my own home.

Some women that are in a IVP situation are bound in her space by the cultural patterns that obtain in their society. Who can she turn to if she vacates her space? But I say this the economic potential of these countries could explode once these women are freed from their chattel existence.

The major factor in the IVP thing is man's longing to be "macho". But that "macho" life style goes against all forms of co-habitation.

I lived with a lady who bore four children for me who was in a IVP situation before we met. I later learnt from her during our many bedroom talks [she was afraid to speak elsewhere of it] of the many atrocities that was she submitted to.

I will draw one of these from our journey together to illustrate how devastating an effect on a woman's psyche or for that matter anyone IVP effects.

I was a cigarette smoker at the time, although lying on the bed together having a casual conversation I would clearly reach to the head-board to get my smoking paraphernalia. Each and every time I did this she would flinch. It took her about five years to release from her mind that whenever I raised my hand was not going to her.

We underestimate as men the consequence that IVP has on our ladies and by extension our offspring. This fighting to control is never healthier.

I once read a case history of a couple having problems and one night the husband choked and raped her in the clear presence of their 12 year-old son. He took up a poker dewa and struck him on the head she got up and kicked him around, grabbed her purse and boy an ran.

I sense you will say that women are IVP perpetrators too. It is on both sides of the divide, however it leans heavily in favour of the lady. Protect them and our youngsters. I will write on female partner violence down the road

Time to fully stop the violence.